Sir
As per our discussions held,I am mailing u some new stuff and hoping to get a
Quick reply.
PUZZLE SINGH
T==Anek shabdon ke liye ek shabd batao-wo kon sa prani hai jisme witch,bitch or
leech ke sabhi gunn hote hain
pz=wife
T== kisi aise band ka naam batao jo kewal ro-ro kar hi music deta hai
pz=husband
T==sansar ka sabse bada dukh jo ghar mein sabse badi khushi ban kar aata hai
pz== marriage
T== durr fitte moonh
pz==yes mam[he takes his mouth maximum away]
T== sansar ki sabse bhyankar sirdard ki bimari
pz==mygrain
T==sansar ki sabse purani cheez jo aaj tak istemaal nahin hui
pz==mybrain
0000000000000
T==puzzle putr husband or wife mein kyya kyya antar or samaantayen hotti hain
pz==husband ke pas ek hi hota hai or wife ke paas do-do...
T== kya bak raha hai idiot
pz==deemaag teacher deemag-aapne suna nahin aadmi ka to uske sir mein hota hai
jabki orat ka deemaag ya to ghutnon mein hota hai ya fir gitton[ankles] mein
T== achha!Aage
pz==Dono ke jeene ka ek hi sahara hota hai-Belan-Husband khaa-khaa ke jeeta hai
or wife maar-maar ke
T==Kyon apne ghar ki kahaani suna raha hai idiot
pz==mam ye to gharghar ki kahaani hai-ekta kapoor ke bhi
T== or koi antar
pz==dono mein teesra antar hota hai- jabaan ka- husband ki jabaan kabhi khulti nahin
kyonki bol jo nahin paata bechara or wife ki jabaan kabhi rukti nahin-har dam
kainchi ki tarah jo chalti hai
00000000000000
T==Puzzle bete char aise intelligent logon ke naam batao jinme se ek bolta ho, doosra
sirf daant dikhaata ho or baaki do kisi ko najar na aate hon.
pz==puzzle singh,sardar surinder or santa singh and banta singh
T== Jaa paan le aa-isko english mein translate karo
pz== pehle aap hindi mein to theek se translate karo-japan bhala koi la sakta hai-wo
to tokiyo mein hain na
T==offoh! kya karoon main iska
pz==mam kuch bhi karna-bas mera achaar mat daalna
T== and by the way,tokiyo japan mein hai,japan tokiyo mein nahin
pz== hoga-who cares
T== or maine tumse khane waale paan ke baare mein poocha tha
pz==Poocha hoga-who cares
T== durr fitte moonh
pz==kyun fitte mun..yoon fitte moon[He takes his mouth away]
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pz==teacherteacher aaj main aap se kuch sawaal poochun
T==poocho
pz==teenon ka ek hi one word mein answer hai-de dengi
T==kyon nahin doongi-jaroor doongi
pz==wo kya cheej hai-jo ham nahin khayenge to mar jayenge
T==oooon![she thinks but could not answer]
pz==Sansar mein maa-baap se badi kya cheej hai
T== kya baat hai aaj to bade oonche oonche sawaal pooch raha hai-mam ki class le
raha hai
pz==teacher aaj na thoda deemag ko use karne ka dil kar raha tha so...kiya kiya
[piyapiya..song tune]
T==ooon![she thinks again but failed]
pz== pyaar se badi kya cheej hai
T== oooon![she thinks again but this time also failed]
T==by the way, kya answer hai in sawalon ka
pz==nothing
T==hoon ...to tumhaare pass bhi jawaab nahin...bas bol gai tain
pz==mammam yahi to jawab hai
T==hain!!!
00000000000000
Mere pati girpade
w==suno papa ka na phone aaya tha wo shaam ki flight se yahan aa rahe hain
h==achha! patangein bechne wale ab patangon se fly bhi karne lage
w==dekho dekho-I warn u khabardaar-jo papa ke against kuch bhi bola to-wo patangein
bechte nahin banaate hain-we r the makers-the 'kites' maker.
h==jaanta hoon jaanta hoon-usse pehle wo fatti patangon ko chepiyan lagakar ek
rupaye ki char..ek ki chaar...[he speaks like a hawker] kiya karte the
w==now enough is enough-aakhir tum papa se itna chidte kyun ho
h==yaad hai tumhe wo mangal ki raat-jis din badkiismati se hamari shadi ho rahi thi -
kanyadaan ke samay unhone tumhaare haath ki sabse choti ungli dete kaha tha-
beta ab ye sirf ungli nahin, poori ungli waali hi tumhaari hai...
w==kuch or bhi to kaha tha-tumhaare kanon mein
h==...beta damaad na sasur ka wo gadha hota hai jo sasur ki cement ki bori saari umar
kandhe par dho kar chalta hai-saath mein namastey karta hai or paye-lagoon bhi
w==what! tumne mujhe cement ki bori kaha
h==gadhi ji khud ko gadha bhi to kaha...dhenchu..dhenchu
000000000000000
h==hoon!chee! mrs girpade ye koi chai hai-ek dam ublaa paani-kitni baar kaha hai paani
ko khoob ubaala karo
w==pani to maine aaddha ghanta ubaala-tab jakar patti-cheeni daala
h==o god!theek kaha tha pandit ne shaadi se pehle-beta tumhaare apni wife se 98 gunn
milenge par 2 gunn na milenge...
w==Really!tumhaare mere 98 gunn milte-kabhi bataya nahin
h==...or 2 gunn isliye na milenge kyunki wife tumhaari na apne dimag se kabhi kuch na
kar payegi or jab koi use samjhayega to wo apna dimag chalayegi.
w==aain![she scrathes her head]
========
[wife appears in mangoes-printed suit while husband is ready to go]
h==mrs. darling-main kaisa lag raha hoon
w==jaise ho waise hi to lagoge na-koi aam thodi na lage hain tumme
h==wo to aap mein lage hain-lajo ji
w==hish..ish[she blushes]
=========
w==are haan aamon se yaad aaya-maa ne kache aam bhijwaye hain-achaar daal dena
h==kyun na bhijwayengi-pehle tumhaare jaisa galla hua aam galle daal diya-ab kache
aam...hey bhagwaan...main koi achaar waala hoon[jumps towards the god]
=========
w== suno main mayke jaa rahi hoon
h==kyon-kiski terhnvi hai
w==tumhaari
h==to wahan kyon ja rahi ho-yahin celebrate karo na
w==usi ke liye hi ja rahi hoon-wahan derh darjan saadiyan padi hai-pure white-wahi lene
ja rahi hoon
h==acha papa ne is baar saadiyon ka naya showroom khola kya -widwaon ke liye-
aakhir wo bhi to duniya chodne waale hain...thodi mummy ji ke liye bhi chod aana
w==hmmmm...[she jumps like a preying cat]
============
h== jee to karta hai tumhaare totte-totte kar doon-ye daal banai hai -isme daal kahan hai
w==darling kya ho gaya hai aapko-shaadi se pehle to karte the..Hai mera totta..mera totta
or ab apne is totte ke chottechottechottechotte totte karna chahte ho
h==are shaadi se pehle to main gaana bhi gaata tha..totta meri totta...main to tera ho
gaya[song;tota mere tota main to teri ho gayi]
w==to ab cassette ki B side badlo na- dil totte totte ho gaya...
[husband pulls his hair]
============
w==suno koi serious joke sunao na-sunao na
h==tumhe yaad hai wo mangal ki raat
w== hoon ye koi joke hai
h==pagli isse serious koi joke nahin ho sakta or tumse dangerous koi jonk[leech] nahin
ho sakti
w==ab bas bhi karo na-ek mangal ko shaadi hui thi par tum har mangal ke peeche
haath dho ke pad gaye ho...pata hai char mangal to gali mein hi rehte hain
h==tum nahin samjhogi-shaadi ham sab husbandon ki wo dukhdayi yatra hoti hai jo
shuru to suhaagraat se hoti hai par khatam jakar shamshaan ghaat par hi hoti hai
w==thank god-ab pahunche na manjil par-the final destination
=============
w==suno kya sach mein har aadmi apni wife se itna dukhi hota hai-jitne ki tum
h==nahin nahin kuch husbands kaafi khush bhi hote hain
w==really
h==mera ek friend hai-shaadi ke saat din baad uski biwi swarg sidhaar gayi-bechaara
swarg ke dwar tak use chod kar aaya-or baahar se kundi bhi laga kar aaya ki
kahin lott hi na aaye- swargwasini-or tabla master hussain saheb ko to tum jaanti
hi ho -teen teen shadiyan ki unhone-aaj behad sukhi hain-ek ek bache ko teen teen
maayen mil gayi-or ek ek table ko teen teen ablayen
w==isme unka kya fayda hua
h== are sawa darjan saaliyan mili hain dahej mein-chothi biwi unhi mein se hi dhoond
rahe hain
w==hoon.. fir to bahut jald chotha hi hoga tumhaare is hussain saab ka
==============
h== dear raat ko mujhe sapna aaya -bhagwaan aaye or bolle bacha teen var maang
w==achaa!fir tumne kya maanga
h==main bola bhagwun-aap teen nahin ek hi var dijiye-par is promise ke saath ki aap use
har haal poora karenge
bh=ok I promise maango kya maangte ho
h==bhagwun ap meri wife le jaiye
bh= vats apni to main kahin chod kar aaya hoon-bola wait here main abi aata-par ab main
nahin jaata-or tum kehte ho tumhaari le jaon-kyun le jaoon
Kshamachar
soniya ji ne jaya ji ko chai par bulaya taaki chunaav mein haar ki wajah jaan saken
..to pata chala ki madam ji ko voton se jyaada to jootiyan/chapplen milin hain-kyunki
unhe inhi ka hi shonk hai
==============
popsinger shakira ne ek motte aadmi ki shaadi mein 'wakawaka...' gaane par perform kiya
...majboori thi bechaari ki-kyunki 'hips dont lie...' par motta aadmi galle pad gaya tha
ki kyon use ched rahi hai
===============
IMF chief rape karne ki koshish mein newyork mein giraftaar
...tabhi dukhi hain bechaare=giraftaar hain isliye nahin-balki apne failure attempt par
===============
Aaj ki baasi magar sabse taazii khabar-osama maara gaya
...par dhyan rahe egg,potato,banana and osama har jagah paaya jaata hai or ek jaisa
hi najar aata hai
===============
Padosi desh/pakistan bharat par hamle ke liye fir se poori tarah taiyaar
...lagta hai khud ko sansar ke maanchitra mein dekh-dekh kar tang aa gaya hai--najar
nahin aata na khud ko-isliye ab duniya ko physically bhi najar nahin aana maangta
===============
popsinger sylloni ne apne indian pati ki hatya ki
...bechari jaanti nahin thi ki ye india hai meri jaan-yahan ke pati jinda rehte hue mar-mar
ke jeete hain or marne ke baad to isi khushi mein hi jee uthte hai ki chalo wife se jaan to chooti
===============
chirag paswan kangna ke saath 'one and only, mein intimate scene karne se sharmaye
...isliye unhone ek ek scene ke liye kai kai retake filmaye-taaki sharam bhi door door tak
na sharmaye
===============
rahul bose shefali shah se kuch kuch naaraj hain kyunki 'kuch luv jaisa' mein luv jaisa kuch na
hua
...isliye aajkal wo twitter par 'kuch luv jaisa' lagne waala kuch-kuch maang rahe hain-
kuch na dikhne wali shefaliyon se or kuch-kuch apni si lagne wali saaliyon se
================
delhi-belly ka dkbose ashlil maana gaya-kyunki continuation mein yah gaana gaali deta hai
...chalo isi bahaane mahilayon ko wo gaaliyan seekhne ko mil rahin hain-jinhe sirf mard log
hi dete the-aane wale samay mein sabhi mard hi dk bose kahlayenge-kyunki sabhi
mossiyan or mahilayen unki shaan mein yahi gaana jo gayengi-Thanks Abhinay
================
'satte pe satta' ke remake mein madhuri ji hema ji ki jagah lengi
...my god-is baar saat ki jagah saath crore[youth] ullu ke pathe/gadhe unke isharon par
dance karna sekhenge or ladkiyan pataana bhi-remember-jhuka ke sir ko bolo-madam-I like u
=================
'love,sex or dhokha' ki heroine ka naam koi nahin jaanta
...naam kon dekhta hai jab itne saste daam mein itni badiya talking-doll mile-fully disposable
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